River Kwai Seafood II
1650 W. Belmont
Chicago, IL
all damned night!
You walk into this place and you think, "Oh, they're remodelling." Or perhaps, "I have the wrong place." Or maybe, "There can't be a bathroom here." There are about six small tables (all of which *will* be occupied at all times), the floor is caving in on the west side of the room, and there's nothing on the walls but a falling NO SMOKING sign, but they're not, you don't and there is.
A foul-mouthed old man of indeterminate national origin (he will, however, volunteer that he's not Thai) is the owner, manager, cashier and only waitperson. He also makes the bitchin'est Tom Kar Kai anywhere in Chicago, hands down. Steer clear of the shrimp, but moan over the straw mushrooms and lemongrass and pour the coconut broth on your rice - it makes having to wait anywhere from forty minutes to an hour for your order, only to eat standing up, humiliatingly worth it.
The close quarters and long wait times make conversation with strangers not only easy but more or less compulsory. How the hell does this place stay open? Between the short menu of cheap, perfectly solid Thai favorites and a "dining room" that's an exercise in masochism, River Kwai is like a hideously ugly dog that can also solve differential equations. Love it or get out; you're standing on my curry.
